Staying a Couple

Do you remember when you and your spouse were dating?  It seemed as if you both couldn’t get enough of each other.  You most likely spent time holding hands, smiling at each other, whispering in one another’s ears and all kinds of small little actions that kept your love exciting and new.  Once a couple becomes married, they tend to stop doing those loving things after some time.  Life becomes busy- you’re walking too fast to get somewhere to hold hands, she knows you love her so you don’t think you have to tell her, she might be offended if you order for her at a restaurant and so on.  It is very easy to fall out of the habits of ‘couples’.  It can be just as easy to fall back in the habit if you give it a try.

When you go anywhere together, start putting your arm in his or take her arm and enter that way- enter as a couple.  Even before that, make sure you never walk without holding his or her hand.  Take a look at elderly couples that have obviously been married a long time.  They still hold hands.

After living together for some time, it is most likely that you have accumulated some of the same types of clothing.  Intentionally match your outfits now and then!  If you don’t want to go that far, buy matching coats or caps and wear those when you are out together.  It doesn’t have to be every time you leave the house, but every once in a while should be fun!

When you take your wife out, it’s still okay to do the traditional things men used to do for women.  Although feminism is very real and should be taken seriously, there is nothing wrong with holding the door open for your wife or pulling her chair out for her to sit at the table.  These are not signs of a weak woman who cannot do it herself.  You are showing her respect each time that you make a gesture like that.

Flirt subtly with each other whenever you feel like it!  You don’t have to be out to dinner or at a party to flirt with each other.  Do it at home while you’re cleaning the kitchen or while he or she’s reading a book.  Walk by and whisper their pet name in their ear or plant a kiss on his or her neck.  Make eye contact and wink or offer a seductive smile.  Take the initiative and do what comes naturally.

For those who are uncomfortable with public displays of affection or even private displays of affection, give it a try.  If you find that you are unable to enjoy little attempts at being affectionate, you might want to seek counseling to discover why it makes you feel that way.  If you and your spouse are happy without that type of affection, more power to you but it is unlikely that both of you are content.  It doesn’t hurt to try and the worst that can happen is that you might actually like it!