Gifts for Building a Relationship

Every marriage experiences spouses buying gifts for one another.  Most of the time the gifts are for what are considered to be ‘mandatory’ gift giving days like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and so on.  Sometimes spouses use gifts as gestures to say that they are sorry or to earn forgiveness.  These aren’t gifts at all- they are bribes and they don’t serve any purpose other than to be a Band Aid to wounds that require proper attention to heal. 

The best gifts given in any relationship are gifts that have only one intention and that intention is to let your spouse know that you are thinking of them, appreciate them and love them.  These gifts are given without ulterior motives or expectations.  These gifts only work when they are chosen with a great deal of thought, care and without anticipating anything in return. 

Begin by shopping all of the time.  This doesn’t mean that you should just load up your shopping basket each time you head out.  This doesn’t require much effort and you will most likely go broke doing this!  Instead, each time you are in a store with or without your spouse, keep an eye out for items you think he or she would love to have or find touching.  Pay attention when you are together either window shopping or looking for specific items.  If he or she finds something that they have an interest in, either purchase it when they aren’t close by or come back later and buy it for them.

You can find all kinds of wonderful treasures in a variety of shops.  Try browsing shops you don’t enter on a regular basis for ideas and many times, rare finds.  Some of these types of shops include antique stores, new and used bookstores, second-hand shops, toy stores, video stores, sporting goods stores, nostalgia shops, natural health food stores, card shops and more.

When you go shopping, head out without any preconceived ideas.  Use your intuition to shop for your partner.  In other words, don’t find your gift- let your gift find you!  If your spouse has a favorite store that he or she loves, get to know the manager and other employees.  Stop in on a regular basis to see if he or she has been in and shown any interest in a particular item.  Buy it!

Always be ready to buy something while you are out.  Keep a ‘gift buying’ fund tucked safely in the back of your wallet so that you are never without funds.  Try to pay cash, as your partner shouldn’t be able to find out what you spend through credit card receipts or statements.  Because you will most likely be accumulating gifts faster than you are giving them, make sure you have a safe hiding spot in which you can store your gifts.

As with any romantic gesture, don’t overdo the gift giving.  If he or she receives gifts all of the time, it isn’t special.  Pace yourself, put thought into everything you do and always consider your spouse before taking any action.