Similarities among the Sexes

While there is no arguing that men and women have very real differences, it doesn’t give you an excuse to ignore all of the wonderful similarities men and women share.  For example, love is not an emotion owned or mastered by a single sex.  Love is for both sexes to experience, share and enjoy.  If love is not for a single sex, then neither is romance.  Romance is for both men and women.  In fact, romance cannot work without the two sexes working together at it.  Men and women may have different ways of thinking and reacting, but underneath it all men and women both have the same needs.

Relationships and traditional gender roles have change drastically over the past century.  While a wife would once never consider sending her husband flowers at work, it is a common gesture today.  In fact, most men would feel comfortable and flattered if they were to receive flowers at work.  Flowers are also appreciated when delivered to the home.  Women tend to have a hard time thinking about men as romantic and sentimental beings.  They should keep in mind that a man wrote one of the greatest love stories of all time in Romeo and Juliet.  Nicholas Sparks is one of the most romantic authors of today and he, too, is a man.  Some of the most talented dancers with the lightest feet have been men like Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire.

Try and look at any differences between you and your spouse as personality differences instead of differences between the sexes.  While it is easy to lump both men and women into gender-specific categories, it would be unfair and completely inaccurate.  Not all women are sensitive and emotion.  Not all men are aggressive and logical.  While these thoughts might seem to be generally true, the special and unique qualities in your particular spouse are the reason why you fell in love with him or her in the first place.

Try to sit down in a quite and private place with your spouse.  Talk about how and why you fell in love with him or her.  Offer him or her the opportunity to do the same for you.  The only rule is that both of you have to be very, very specific.  Make a mental note of how many qualities are gender-specific and how many are not.  You might find yourself surprised at the results.  Your next job is to keep in mind your own answers and work at supporting and enjoying those qualities in your partner on a daily basis.

The key to recognizing differences between you and your spouse is to not focus on them.  If you focus on them or place too much emphasis on them, you will create conflict that needn’t be there.  Look at what that particular quality brings to the relationship or how is can be a positive influence.  Use romance to connect you as lovers and spouses as well as a tool to accept and appreciate each other’s differences.